If one has images of cozying up by the fire with a manly man, think Cole Hauser, sipping hot toddies while a winter storm howls outside, the only place you will find that is up in the actual mountains. Rustic lodges in Aspen aren't a thing anymore and the rugged mountain men are up in the mountains too busy to look for a gal, and when and if they decide to come to town, they get swooped up before they know what hit them, like a Bald eagle catching a rabbit in its talons. And no, wearing a cowboy hat won't fool them. Finding love in Aspen is not as easy as one might think. The truth of the matter is that it's pretty difficult to find a good man up here where the air is thin and the lips are large.
If you’re single in Aspen, you’ve probably had that moment, the one where you scan the room at a bar, a fundraiser, or at après-ski and realize you’ve already dated, worked with, or rejected every single man in sight. And if you haven’t? Well, congrats, you must be new here.
I don't wish to burst your romanticized vision of moving to Aspen and finding your dream man. I'm just saying that if you are hoping for champagne and roses, our Cloud 9 here is no Nirvana, but rather a place where the Champagne you dream about will more likely get jet sprayed into your face full force from a boy trapped in a man's flexed body living out his dream of wasting his money on spraying Veuve on beautiful half-naked women, rather than saving the world. Pro tip: Don’t wear leather, unless it’s a Pleather bikini.
As someone who’s been bringing professionals together for years, relationship building is all the same. Whether it's bringing investors together or people looking for love, everyone wants to find like-minded people who understand the importance of trust and support. Having met my mountain man here and raising three Aspen boys of our own, I know that good men do exist and that it has been possible to find love in Aspen. There is an influx of new single men moving to the Roaring Fork Valley who can work remotely, and single men visiting all the time and if they don't live here, they may not be too far away. Just the other day, I went to Whole Foods in Silverthorne. Perhaps because I've opened up my curiosity, I am attracting men, and there they were in every aisle. I was tempted to set up a table outside with a sign to attract them for my friends, but I have yet to come up with a creative slogan that will lure them to me without making them feel as though they are in the spotlight. Maybe it could say something like "Catch and Release." And before you read any further, those women are looking for UNMARRIED, caring, loyal, and understated gentlemen.
Gentleman originally referred to a man of good family and birth, and was used to describe a member of the landed gentry in England. It was also used to describe men who were entitled to bear arms but were not part of the nobility.
Modern meaning - In modern times, the term "gentleman" is used to describe a man who is courteous, honorable, or chivalrous. It can also be used to describe a man who has a high standard of conduct or propriety. ~ Wikipedia
In my curiosity to see where the single men are, I used my platforms to reach my targeted audience, people who love authenticity and have ties to Aspen, and published a post to Facebook saying it like it is, "WHERE ARE ALL THE SINGLE MEN?" It worked and suddenly men came out of hiding directly messaging me privately. When asked to reveal what they would want in a woman, the replies were beautiful, poetic even. Since trust is everything in a relationship, I would never jeopardize their trust in me but thought I should share a few of my favorites without revealing any information:
What do Mountain Men Want In A Women:?
“My new future partner is honest and caring and moves through these mountains with grace and beauty. She has a love for skiing that she passes to her children and could be among these parents at AVSC drop off today or tomorrow. Perhaps in a similar situation as me, with half custody of two amazing children from a previous marriage that I am committed to raising in this valley for the next decade. She is calm and natural, smart and professional, and takes advantage of living in this valley by exploring and enjoying its wonders.”
“She is kind and compassionate and knows how to stand up for herself. She, like me, walks into a room and instantly, the room gets brighter. She has a positive attitude 90% of the time. She knows herself.”
“I’ve been through a lot lately so I’m hesitant to put myself back out there especially since I have a baby girl. I’m not looking for a hookup or a girlfriend but a woman that wants a good life… I was engaged to be married and she decided to sabotage our lives together. It’s all fine, just heartbreaking and I’m having some major adjustments to make. I’m not in a hurry as I’m waiting for the perfect match but I know she’s not going to come knocking at my door. Haha. … I think age is just a number but mature and not too old to have children. I’d like to have more kids if possible.”
~ Anonymous Aspen Men
What I’m hearing from my research is that both men and women have major burn out with the dating apps that make them feel shallow and exposed, and what I know is that the need to return to organic connections.
Dating is hard enough, but throw in a life lived in one of America's most renowned ski resorts, and any local will tell you that things have the potential to get pretty weird pretty fast. It’s not uncommon to hear folks across the great American West, from Big Sky to Taos say, “the odds are good, but the goods are odd”.
In a town the size of Aspen, it is highly likely that you will run into a former flame when you least expect it or even worse, have your close "buddy" realize that they are done with facades and ready for more than a jaunt down the ski slope. Whether feelings are mutual or not, whatever you decide will toss you into the small-town rumor mill, and you'll just have to work that much harder to meet your significant other. Rule #1: assess before undressing.
But everything you hear about the single scene in Aspen is true, Aspen takes single life to a new dimension. Beautifully toned fearless people are the norm, with voracious appetites for outside adventure and ... well ... sexual encounters. And yes, the odds are certainly good that one will find what they are looking for, as long as it is not long-term!
But the goods being odd are more likely. In a town inundated with luxury and more luxury, devoid of acceptable housing for those of us who work here, people need to double and triple up in everything they do, from sharing meals to bedrooms, and it should come as no surprise to anybody that this leads to hedonism and debauchery. And while it is quite easy to find that sexy laissez-faire attitude that many of us trustafarian/skier/snowboarder/telemark skiers maintain, it is far less common to find a connection with someone who wants to hang on for a while.
While there are plenty of locals who stick around well into adulthood, a large majority of the eligible and free that one meets in bars or on apps are transplants, looking for immediate action. South Africa, Australia, Argentina, Brasil, and the Philippines are just a few common destinations they flock from looking to experience the land of the free ... and loose.
We’ve created a rundown of different types of love-seekers you’ll be likely to meet if you’re in the market for romance. After all, there’s a reason so many people consider Colorado to be one of the most romantic states in the US, and what better city to start in than Aspen?
Got it All together
This person moved to town to work remotely for a big company based in a big city post-pandemic, but wants to make the western slope their new backyard. They might be employed by Ski Co. or a Real Estate firm, or maybe at one of the few sustainable or tech companies in Carbondale. This type is great to find if you’re looking for a suburban lifestyle in the mountains and yearn for the stability of a domestic partnership.
The Adventurer:
This is that person whose hunger for adventure is their Lithium. Of course, they want a companion to take off with them at any change of weather, but not if that person can't keep up. Oftentimes their home is their car and Phish is their jam. These adventurers need to stay free, and so their jobs are seasonal. If you are uber athletic, passionate, and always amped-up for an adrenaline adventure, this is the type for you. Also--must love dogs!
Trust- Funder
You don't have to search hard for this type in our neck of the woods. They’re for the most part silver-spoon-fed, drive a G-wagon, and their parents most likely own a city home and a country home just a few miles apart in the valley. A few upsides might come with this if you’re up for the status and frequent evenings spent hanging with local favorite Scott Sherry at the Caribou Club or for regular date nights spent at The Little Nell Wine Bar, or weekends in St. Moritz, which all sound pretty good to us. Relationships are like traveling, and Aspenites are usually up for exploration, no matter how long it lasts or how sour it turns.
Creeper:
This type is the self-proclaimed expert on everything and everyone Aspen, and they'll let you know within five minutes of your introduction. You can spot them a mile away by their loud clothes and voices. They’ll pick up on a transplant or visitor like it’s their job, and insert their wisdom whether it is appreciated or not. You will see them prowling on the bar circuit, or hear them talking trade loudly on the gondola to impress. Let's just say, we're not judging, just warning. Stay clear.
