I try to make it a habit to not speak on the phone when I have all three of my boys around, it’s just too frustrating for both me and the person I am speaking with, but my mother is in town and when she is here she brings us all together and so I was speaking to my sister about our plans. “Stop shooting each other,” I pleaded to my boys, gangsta rap blaring out the speakers with Thumper as the DJ.
It has been yet another summer spent trying to survive, and write, only this summer the darts from nerf guns have graduated to pellets in airsoft guns and the raucous wrestling going on at my feet, knocking everything off anything in their path, continues outside to extreme summer ski ramps built in the backyard.
To retain my sanity I search for peace and serenity wherever I can, and guidance. I am currently taking a class with Rod Stryker, “Peace, Power and Prosperity: The Enlightened Life. Mr. Stryker is also the founder of ParaYoga and the author of “The Four Desires: Creating a Life of Purpose, Happiness, Prosperity, and Freedom.”
Once a month I take a seat in the Aspen Chapel and listen as he guides his class through a stronger meditation practice and resets our being, encouraging us to find our purpose in life.
As the early evening light seeps through the stained glass windows, basking our room in gold I begin the transformation into a more peaceful me and when I leave I practice his teachings throughout the remainder of the month, trying to figure out what the hell my purpose is.
For seven years my writing has been my catharsis. Always looking for the story has helped me to find humor amidst the chaos of my every day living, thus helping to dissolve the frustrations that derive from being a parent, sometimes what seems like such a thankless job, albeit my self-proclaimed vocation in life.
It helps to have a creative, quirky mind where just when I am about to lose it on the boys, myself and the world, the sight of a broom creates an animated image in my head of my jumping upon it and flying around the room while hackling hysterically and tossing smoke bombs. These images do a lot to help diffuse my anger, and tell a better story.
My focus has always been on raising our boys into strong, loyal, determined, passionate men and much of what I have done in these past seven years has kept me on this path. This is what lead me to blogging, travel writing and now writing about parenting to help other parents. With each post, I conduct my research, and every insight is applied towards my own parenting. But what is my purpose?
When last in Denver my mother-in-law introduced me to the Senior Pastor of her Columbine United Church, Reverend Dr. Stephen-Poos Benson, a Reverend, author, teacher at the St. Regis University and blogger of, “Cowboy Jesus: The Rodeo of Life and Religion”.
When Baddy was growing up, religion was not a part of their daily lives but this Reverend and his liberal philosophy had essentially changed the lives of his parents and their views on Christianity.
While it is true that I am Jewish, an aspiring Jubu since reading 10% Happier by Dan Harris, I have so many questions spurred on from my meditation and desire to speak with anyone who is willing to share with me their spiritual wisdom, regardless of their religious affiliation, as long as they don’t try to convert me and are not even remotely preachy, so when my mother-in-law set up a meeting with the Reverend, I was ready to meet the man who had changed the lives of my in-laws and hope that he could answer some of my questions that have arisen since my meditation practice began like; I understand that when you open yourself to becoming more mindful your senses are heightened and everything becomes more vivid, but what about the serendipitous magic that occurs that you have no control over, what is that all about?
In his book, “Sent to Soar: Fulfilling Your Devine Potential for Yourself and for the World,” the Reverend, “Mines the wisdom” of the great spiritual heroes; Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, Mohammed, Lao Tzu, to reveal a pattern in how God works in the world,
Sitting in the comfort of his office in two oversized sitting chairs I asked him his thoughts on faith and spirituality.
The Reverand broke it down to the basics for me:
At the end of our meeting the Reverend left me with gifts that I will forever cherish and hold close to my heart. As somebody who reads auras he told me that he felt an angelic presence around me and that he saw a HUGE golden aura, “I feel as though this presence has been guiding you and is waiting for you to awaken to their guidance.” He went on to tell me that my inherent intuition is very good and that I should continue on my parenting path and trust my intuition.
What he gave me was so simple and easy to work with and while there were no mystical aha moments, he verified with me that I am indeed on the right path and that I should keep on keeping on, even though I am not YET being monetarily rewarded for my efforts but he gave me the belief that if I stay true to myself and my passion to write and help others than the success will come.
So now onward to find more clarity and further awaken to the concept of spirit guides and angels and how they are philosophized within my own religion, and hopefully get closer to figuring out my purpose.