On our way home from the airport we went to Costco to load up on food to feed the troops of boys that traipse through the house. Walking in I noticed that Thumper looked like a piggy with a band-aid stretched from his nostrils up to his eyebrows. “Really?” I asked. “I’m not with you, understand?” I was exhausted from traveling and not prepared to face the stress that lay ahead the second I drove past our for sale sign. And I wasn’t in the mood to parent.
Every now and again I spotted them, climbing up to lay on the huge sacks of dog food on the shelves, carrying enormous stuffed bears around the store or sitting on the reclining media chairs to play with the buttons, up down up down. “Don’t forget to eat your lunch at the sample booths,” I quietly yelled and scooted into the next aisle. Bad, huh?
My first night back I dreamed that Wade and Michele pulled an intervention and made me go on antidepressants. The second night I dreamed I was at the airport all dressed in bright colors and sea shells designed by Lilly Pulitzer, something like this:
A police came up to me and asked to look in my bright pink beach bag that happened to be filled with marijuana. Busted. “But it’s legal in Colorado,” I exclaimed. “Everybody’s doing it.” “I’m like Mary-Louise Parker in Weeds. I need to pay my mortgage.” Anxiety much?
It’s funny, all my life I was infatuated with boys. No really, life was dull for me without them. And now? With no budget for camps, mannies or kid programs my summers consist of days on end spent with a pack of high energy tweenage boys + a few little ones tagging along and I don’t always have the energy or the mental capacity to deal with it.
As the days go by I’m reacclimating and my constitution is improving. I may even have more fun hanging out with my boys and their friends than with adults. In fact, when I run into an acquaintance, I worry that slang will pop out of my mouth. Could it be that I am becoming socially inept?
I have it all figured out. I’m going to drink a pot of coffee in the morning so that my energy matches the boys and I’m going to get revved up for the remaining two weeks of summer and pack in the fun. Since the boys are more keen on “hanging” rather than hiking to all of the lakes of Colorado, I am putting together a list of our favorite hanging spots, where I can slip in adventures before they realize what is going on.
Tell me your favorite things to do with your kids and I’ll include it.